Sometimes, blocking your ex sounds less like a legal question and more like self-care.

No more angry texts, no more 11:30 p.m. arguments, and no more seeing their name pop up on your phone and immediately wondering what’s wrong this time.

So, can you just hit “block” and be done with it?

Maybe, but if you are going through a divorce or share children with your ex, it may not be that simple.

There is a big difference between cutting off unnecessary communication with a former spouse and cutting off communication that is still necessary for your divorce, your children, or a court order.

Here is what you should know before hitting that button.

If You Do Not Have Children Together

If you and your ex do not share children, there may be much less reason for the two of you to stay in regular contact after your divorce is over. That does not mean you should necessarily block them the second divorce papers are filed, though.

While your case is pending, there may still be practical issues that need to be addressed, and important communication may be better handled through your attorneys rather than through an endless stream of texts between the two of you.

Once everything is finalized, whether you continue communicating with your former spouse may largely depend on your individual circumstances and any continuing obligations between you.

If You Share Children, Things Get More Complicated

This is where “just block them” can become a problem.

When you share children, communication does not end when the relationship does. Parents may still need to exchange information about school, medical care, extracurricular activities, pickups, drop-offs, schedule changes, emergencies, and other decisions involving their children. Your parenting plan may also establish expectations or requirements for how the two of you communicate.

That does not mean your ex needs unlimited access to you at all hours of the day, but completely cutting off communication may not be realistic when you still have children to raise together.

You Can Set Boundaries Without Cutting Off Communication

Keeping a line of communication open does not mean you have to participate in every argument your ex tries to start. Instead, you may be able to change how you communicate.

For example, you might keep conversations limited to issues involving the children or communicate primarily in writing. If regular texting or phone calls constantly turn into arguments, a co-parenting app may also be an option.

These apps can give parents a designated place to discuss schedules, exchanges, appointments, expenses, and other information involving their children without relying on personal text messages for every conversation. Some also offer shared calendars, expense tracking, and records of communication.

You may not be able to completely eliminate communication with your ex, but you may be able to make that communication more structured and easier to manage.

Think Before You Block on Social Media, Too

Blocking someone’s phone number and blocking them on Instagram are not the same thing.

You generally do not need to give your ex a front-row seat to your social media life simply because you were once married. But if your divorce or another family-law matter is still pending, remember that what you post online can potentially become relevant to your case. Blocking your spouse also does not make a questionable post disappear.

Before posting about your divorce, your ex, your finances, your children, or your new relationship, consider whether you would be comfortable with that post being seen by the attorneys or potentially the court.

What If the Messages Are Harassing or Threatening?

Necessary communication is one thing. Harassment or threats are another.

If communication from your ex has crossed that line, simply blocking the number may not address the larger issue. Save potentially important messages rather than immediately deleting them, and talk with an attorney about what steps may be appropriate for your particular situation.

If you believe you or your children are in immediate danger, contact law enforcement or emergency services.

So, Can You Block Your Ex?

Sometimes, yes.  

But if you are still going through a divorce, share children, have continuing obligations to one another, or are required to communicate under a parenting plan or court order, hitting “block” without thinking through the consequences may create more problems than it solves.

The better question may be: How can I limit communication with my ex while still protecting myself and following my legal obligations?

If you are thinking about divorce in Florida, we can help you find out whether we are the right fit. Call us at 850-362-7228, or complete the form on our website and we will call you.

Written by Sophia Thephasdin. Reviewed for legal accuracy by Matthew Ausley, Attorney.