During a divorce, there are a lot of things to take care of.
There are financial documents to gather, decisions to make about the house, parenting schedules to work through, meetings with your attorney, deadlines to remember, and an entire future that suddenly needs to be figured out. In the midst of taking care of everything else, there is one person who can easily get overlooked:
You.
Divorce may take place within the legal system, but its effects rarely stay there. You are not just dividing property or working out a parenting plan, you are also grieving the end of a relationship, adjusting to a new routine, worrying about your children, reconsidering your finances, and trying to imagine what life will look like when the case is finally over.
That is a lot for one person to carry.
Give Yourself Time to Adjust
There is no rule for how you are supposed to feel during a divorce.
You might be devastated. You might be angry. You might feel relieved. You might experience all three before lunchtime.
Divorce can change parts of your everyday life that you rarely thought twice about before. Where you wake up in the morning, when you see your children, how you spend the holidays, and even what your monthly budget looks like may suddenly be different. It is okay if adjusting to that new reality takes time.
Try not to put pressure on yourself to have your entire post-divorce life figured out immediately. Some decisions need to be made now, others can wait.
Take Care of the Basics
When life becomes overwhelming, some of the simplest things are often the first to disappear.
Try to maintain as much of your normal routine as you reasonably can. Eat regularly, get outside, move your body, make plans with people you enjoy being around, and get enough rest when you can.
None of those things will make a divorce disappear, but taking care of yourself physically can make it a little easier to handle everything else being asked of you.
Another helpful tip is to give yourself things to look forward to that have absolutely nothing to do with your divorce. Maybe it’s dinner with a friend, a weekend away, your favorite TV show on Wednesday night. It doesn't have to be something big. Your divorce may be an important part of your life right now, but it does not have to become your entire life.
Know Who You Can Lean On
You do not have to prove that you can handle everything by yourself.
Maybe your support system is your family. Maybe it is a close friend, counselor, faith leader, support group, or someone else you trust. What matters is having somewhere you can be honest about what you are experiencing.
Your attorney can answer questions about your case and help you make informed legal decisions, but there are some things a legal strategy simply cannot fix. Sometimes you just need someone to listen while you vent.
Be Careful About Where You Look for Answers
When you are worried about your future, it is tempting to search for certainty anywhere you can find it. That might mean spending hours online reading about other people's divorces, comparing your situation to a friend's case, or replaying every possible outcome in your head.
Remember that no two divorces are exactly alike. What happened in someone else's case does not necessarily predict what will happen in yours.
When you have a legal question, bring it to your legal team. When you are struggling emotionally, turn to someone equipped to support you in that way. Knowing where to take each concern can keep you from carrying unnecessary fear based on someone else's experience.
Support Beyond the Courtroom
One of the ways Good Life Legal extends that support beyond the legal process is through our Chaplain Care Service.
The service is available to provide emotional support during and after divorce, giving clients another source of care as they work through the personal side of a transition that can affect far more than their legal standing.
Because eventually, the documents will be signed. The hearings will end. Your case will close. But your life keeps going.
You Don't Have to Face This Alone
Divorce asks you to make important decisions at a time when you may not feel like yourself. You do not need to have every answer today, and you do not have to navigate every part of the process alone.
Take care of what needs your attention today. Let the people around you help with what you cannot carry by yourself. And remember that asking for support is not separate from getting through your divorce; it can be part of how you get through it.
If you are thinking about divorce in Florida, we can help you find out whether we are the right fit. Call us at 850-362-7228, or complete the form on our website and we will call you.
Written by Sophia Thephasdin. Reviewed for legal accuracy by Matthew Ausley, Attorney.